A little boy was in a relative's wedding.  As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd  (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).  While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar...so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near  tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.  The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.  On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens.  "How did you know?" his mom asked.  "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied, "I think it's printed on the bottom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another three year old put his shoes on by himself.  His mother noticed the left was on the right foot.  She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."  He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Can people predict the future with cards?" said one little boy to another. "My mother can," said the other boy.

"Really?"

"Yes, she takes one look at my report card and can tell me exactly what will happen when my Dad gets home."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer.  She was reciting it all by herself without help from her mother.  She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3.  The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If  Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"


Back to Kids

Back to Tina's Humor Archives main page