REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICALLY INCLINED
I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into
itself and for the life of them could not understand why their
computer would not turn on.
1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to
say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page.
I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want
anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only
the recipient would open it and read it."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do
you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my
car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery for this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just
this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long
walk."
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now."
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change
his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked
where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said,
"Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day
he was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," she told him.
With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
I was working the help desk. One day one of the computer operators
called me and asked if anything "bad" would happen if she dropped
coins into the openings of her PC. I asked her if this was something she
was thinking of doing. She said, "never mind" and hung up. So I got
out my trusty tool kit and paid her a visit. I opened her CPU case and
sure enough, there was 40 cents.
One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to type a
path name to a directory named "i386." He started to type it and paused,
asking me, "Where's the key for that line thing?"
I asked what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one
that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark."
I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?" and he said, "Yeah, that's
it!"
This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard.
Unfortunately, the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it
impossible to move the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided
to cut the cord, since the lamp was unusable anyway. He didn't
remember to unplug it first.
I found him in the hallway rolling back and forth.
I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I
asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set
the cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich.
I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who
answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a
message comes on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered
to fit your television screen."
Comment from person: "How do they know what size screen I have?"
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